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- Children in the dark cause accidents. Accidents in the dark cause children
- Oh my god, you killed Kenny!
- Panties aren't a mans best friend, but they are next to it
- Statistics are used by people who have no proof
- Divorce: from the Latin word meaning "to rip a man's heart out through his wallet
- You'll never get rid of a bad temper by losing it!
- If you act crazy all your life, they'll never be able to commit you
- In the land of the skunks he who has half a nose is king
- Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know where to shop
- If at first you do not succeed, destroy all evidence that you ever tried
- Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital dying of nothing
- In the event of an emergency landing why do the people in the pamflet look so calm?
- I can't wait to see how you look when I'm naked
- Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights do make a left
- 3 words to ruin a guys ego..is it in??
- You can better lose a lover than love a loser
- I'm only crazy when other people cant stand that I'm right
- Women/Men are like public toilets, they are either taken or full of shit
- Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one
- Work harder: People on welfare depend on you
- Me breaking the rules? No. I test their elasticity
- Be back later...my dog ate my car keys....we are hitchhiking to the vet's office
- We came, we saw, we drank beer
- Geniuses are never understood in their own lifetimes
- You can trust the government, just ask the Indians
- Be nice to your children. For they will be choosing your nursing home someday
- Don't drink and drive. You might spill your beer
- Save water, drink beer
- Everybody makes mistakes, thats why they put erasers on pencils
- If at first you do not succeed, destroy all evidence that you ever tried
- Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital dying of nothing
- In the event of an emergency landing why do the people in the pamflet look so calm?
- I can't wait to see how you look when I'm naked
- Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights do make a left
- 3 words to ruin a guys ego..is it in??
- You can better lose a lover than love a loser
- I'm only crazy when other people cant stand that I'm right
- Women/Men are like public toilets, they are either taken or full of shit
- Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one
- Work harder: People on welfare depend on you
- Me breaking the rules? No. I test their elasticity
- Be back later...my dog ate my car keys....we are hitchhiking to the vet's office
- We came, we saw, we drank beer
- Geniuses are never understood in their own lifetimes
- You can trust the government, just ask the Indians
- Be nice to your children. For they will be choosing your nursing home someday
- Don't drink and drive. You might spill your beer
- Save water, drink beer
- Everybody makes mistakes, thats why they put erasers on pencils
- If at first you do not succeed, destroy all evidence that you ever tried
- Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital dying of nothing
- In the event of an emergency landing why do the people in the pamflet look so calm?
- I can't wait to see how you look when I'm naked
- Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights do make a left
- 3 words to ruin a guys ego..is it in??
- You can better lose a lover than love a loser
- I'm only crazy when other people cant stand that I'm right
- Women/Men are like public toilets, they are either taken or full of shit
- Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one
- Work harder: People on welfare depend on you
- Me breaking the rules? No. I test their elasticity
- Be back later...my dog ate my car keys....we are hitchhiking to the vet's office
- We came, we saw, we drank beer
- Geniuses are never understood in their own lifetimes
- You can trust the government, just ask the Indians
- Be nice to your children. For they will be choosing your nursing home someday
- Don't drink and drive. You might spill your beer
- Save water, drink beer
- Everybody makes mistakes, thats why they put erasers on pencils
- If at first you do not succeed, destroy all evidence that you ever tried
- Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital dying of nothing
- In the event of an emergency landing why do the people in the pamflet look so calm?
- I can't wait to see how you look when I'm naked
- Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights do make a left
- 3 words to ruin a guys ego..is it in??
- You can better lose a lover than love a loser
- I'm only crazy when other people cant stand that I'm right
- Women/Men are like public toilets, they are either taken or full of shit
- Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one
- Work harder: People on welfare depend on you
- Me breaking the rules? No. I test their elasticity
- Be back later...my dog ate my car keys....we are hitchhiking to the vet's office
- We came, we saw, we drank beer
- Geniuses are never understood in their own lifetimes
- You can trust the government, just ask the Indians
- Be nice to your children. For they will be choosing your nursing home someday
- Don't drink and drive. You might spill your beer
- Save water, drink beer
- Everybody makes mistakes, thats why they put erasers on pencils
- If at first you do not succeed, destroy all evidence that you ever tried
- Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital dying of nothing
- In the event of an emergency landing why do the people in the pamflet look so calm?
- I can't wait to see how you look when I'm naked
- Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights do make a left
- 3 words to ruin a guys ego..is it in??
- You can better lose a lover than love a loser
- I'm only crazy when other people cant stand that I'm right
- Women/Men are like public toilets, they are either taken or full of shit
- Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one
- Work harder: People on welfare depend on you
- Me breaking the rules? No. I test their elasticity
- Be back later...my dog ate my car keys....we are hitchhiking to the vet's office
- We came, we saw, we drank beer
- Geniuses are never understood in their own lifetimes
- You can trust the government, just ask the Indians
- Be nice to your children. For they will be choosing your nursing home someday
- Don't drink and drive. You might spill your beer
- Save water, drink beer
- Everybody makes mistakes, thats why they put erasers on pencils
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- I like to con and insult people, that's why I chose to become a Consultant
- Mental Health is overrated
- Be The Change You Wish To See
- All generalizations are false
- A clean dwelling place is the sign of a disturbed mind
- This isn't school! This is Hell with flourecent lighting
- The funny thing about Common sense is that it's not very common
- Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense
- Next week there can't be any crisis. My schedule is full already
- War does not determine who is right... but who is left
- If you are drinking to forget, pay in advance
- Mom + Dad + beer - condom = me
- People who think they know everything are annoying to those of us who do
- Conserve water, drink beer
- The rich get richer and the poor get children
- Don't breed them if you can't feed them
- Drugs cause amnesia, and other things I can't remember
- Harrasing me about my smoking may be hazardous to your health!
- Marriage is not like war: You sleep with the enemy
- Don't lead me to temptation... I can find it by myself
- A good lawyer knows the law, a great lawyer knows the judge
- The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else
- Bad Spellers Untie!
- You must master your joystick, as a fisherman masters bait
- Those who know do not say, those who say do not know
- The road to success is always under construction
- I'm looking forward to regretting this
- 'Pessimist' is a word used by optimists to describe someone who sees the world for what it really is
- Alcohol releases the inner retard in all of us...
- Life is like a pack of chewing-gum; I've yet to figure out why
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